My Thoughts on Lavinia Turning One
Tomorrow our little girl turns the big O-N-E!
It’s strange how time works… in some ways it feels like we were just anticipating her arrival on our drive to the birth center and in others it feels like she’s been a part of our family forever. As her birthday has been approaching I’ve had many people ask me how I’m feeling about it. My response is always that I’m excited but that I can’t believe how quickly the year has flown by. Sometimes I get the sense that people are surprised by this answer.
Excited? About your baby turning one? Shouldn’t you be sad?
Don’t get me wrong, when she was about a week old and I was crying over how much I loved her I totally thought I’d be spending the days leading up to “one” tearfully looking through pictures, sad that my baby was no longer my baby. There were many moments in the early months that I would think to myself “I wish she could stay this little forever”. But over the past year something happened that changed my perspective completely.
Becoming a mom has made me more aware of the realities of miscarriage and infant loss. Every mother should get to see their little ones grow up but unfortunately that is not the case. There are so many moms who have bravely and openly shared their journeys on social media and while I don’t know any of them personally their stories have touched my heart so deeply. I am incredibly thankful that they have continued to share about their little ones with us and the best way I can think to honor them is to truly appreciate every moment with my daughter.
Yes, I’m feeling a bit nostalgic for the days when Lavinia would fall asleep on my chest and snuggle there for house. Yes, I miss splash-less bath time and resistance-free diaper changes. And yes, the other day I spent an hour or so going through all of our pictures from the last year but rather than making me cry each picture and video brought me so much joy. I realize how incredibly lucky we are to have a happy, healthy baby and am just so grateful that I get to be this sweet girl’s mommy and that Henri and I have a front row seat to watch her grow and learn and become the person that she is.
So, Lavinia, happy *almost* birthday my dear. I have so loved this past year with you and cannot wait for the journey ahead!
