January 24, 2019

Marigold’s Birth Story

If you follow me on Instagram you know that our second daughter, Marigold, joined us this past Saturday morning – 5 whole days after her due date.

We’ve spent these past 5 days soaking up every single second with her. We all love her so much and Liv is absolutely thrilled and so so proud to be a big sister. Seeing them together has been my favorite part of second time mamahood by far!

Today I’m sharing Marigold’s birth story, it’s a long one so you may want to grab a coffee to get you through this one.

It’s no secret that I expected Marigold to be born before her due date. Lavinia was 4 days early and I’ve always heard that second kids come earlier so I really wouldn’t have been surprised if we had a December baby. Boy was I wrong! It’s no secret that as our due date approached, then passed and I still hadn’t gone into labor I was anxious for things to get going. Last Wednesday, when I was 40 weeks +2 days, I had a little breakdown when Henri was leaving for work. He assured me that everything was going to be ok and even offered to take the day off if I felt like I needed some company which was so sweet. I said I would be ok but we decided that he would take a vacation day on Friday if Marigold hadn’t made her entrance yet.

On Wednesday and Thursday night I had experienced some contractions in the evening and we went to bed hoping that later that night or in the morning I’d wake up with regular contractions that were closer together but no luck. So Friday came and Henri took the day off. We had a nice morning together with Liv and then he took her on a little outing to the library and pet store so that I could relax and get a few last minute chores done. That afternoon we went over to my in-laws so my MIL could give Lavinia a much needed haircut and then we all went to dinner at a local pizza place. While we were out I started having regular contractions (YAY!!) and for the hour and a half that we were out I had one about every 10 minutes. They were felt like pretty intense cramps but weren’t too bad. I texted our doula the exciting news and she asked us to update her when they got to 7 minutes apart.

We came home from dinner and did Lavinia’s regular bedtime routine I cuddled her for an extra long time just in case it was her last night as my only baby! Before we went to bed I told Henri that I was afraid that the contractions would fizzle out again when I went to bed like they had been doing the past few nights. He suggested that I hop in the shower to see if that would stimulate things a bit before we went to sleep which sounded like a great idea to me so I did! We got in bed around 10:30pm hoping that this wasn’t another false alarm.

When we told Liv it might be out last night as a family of 3 she said “take a picture” so we did <3

Around midnight a super strong contraction woke me up. Henri started timing them again but would sometimes fall asleep so that the contraction timer wasn’t 100% accurate. As far as we could tell the contractions were getting stronger and more intense but they weren’t really achieving a regular pattern that was getting closer together like labor is always described… some contractions were as far apart as 15 mins then some were as close together as 3 mins and they would last anywhere from 1-2 minutes. This is exactly what happened in my labor with Lavinia so Henri was convinced that it was go time while I wasn’t so sure. Luckily, he took charge and paged the on-call midwife. After the nurse took our information it wasn’t long before the midwife called us back, I believe her exact words were “I want you guys to head to the birth center RIGHT NOW!”

After that it was quite a blur getting out of the house. Henri called his mom so she could come over for the rest of the night, let our doula know to meet us at the birth center and loaded all of our bags into the car while I continued to labor in our room. I a little tearfully ran into Liv’s room before we left and said goodbye to her and told her that I loved her.

On the 20-30 minute drive to the birth center I only had 2 contractions and I jokingly told Henri that I “really hoped this was the real deal” because I didn’t want to be responsible for getting all of these people out of bed at 1:30 in the morning. He just rolled his eyes at me and told me that I was being silly… this was for sure it. Boy was he right, we parked the car at the birth center and while walking from the car to the front door I had 2 super painful contractions!! We got inside and the midwife and nurses were waiting for us, the midwife checked me right away and I was thrilled when she said that I was 8-9cm dilated!!! Once again we were super close to meeting our baby girl!

Time kind of stands still when you are in labor, I could have sworn that I was only in the birthing tub for a little bit but looking back through the pictures it had to have been close to 3 more hours that I spent laboring in the water. During this time the midwives and nurses left me, Henri and our doula pretty much alone except for their intermittent checks of my and baby’s vitals. It wasn’t until I started getting the urge to push that they came into the room for the remainder of the delivery.

Last time I had been pretty sure that I didn’t want to deliver in the tub but this time I was open to it. After trying for a little bit in the tub and feeling like I couldn’t really get grounded/push effectively we moved to the bed. Every single contraction was incredibly painful, more so than in my labor with Lavinia, and we shortly found out it was because of Marigold’s position. She was sunny side up so each contraction felt like like back was breaking – the water had helped temper this pain a little bit but out of the water it was so so painful.

When I got to this point I was certain that I was minutes away from meeting our girl. I only pushed for about an hour with Liv and second babies are typically easier, right? Well, I should have learned from her being “overdue” that this girl is determined to do things differently than her sister. We tried a few different positions, laying on my side on the bed, on my hands and knees and even squatting. As the time went on and I still hadn’t been able to get her out I started to worry a little bit – was I doing a good job? Were my pushes effective? I think after every contraction I kept asking my midwife if that had been good, if I was getting any closer. We eventually ended up in my original position, on my back in the bed and I held henri’s hands while my doula rubbed my back and gave me encouragement.

There were so many moments that I thought I wouldn’t be able to do it but anytime I voiced this feeling every single person in the room reassured me that I was doing it! After 2 hours of pushing her head finally started to crown and I heard our midwife say “Wow! She has so much hair!” I reached down to feel our girl for the first time and was so encouraged that she was right there!! My midwife reassured me that with one more push baby’s head would be out, but Marigold threw us another curveball and it took 4 contractions and attempts at pushing to get her head out all the way! Girl’s got a big noggin, haha.

Once her head was out pushing the rest of her body was easy. She came out with the umbilical cord wrapped around her neck not one, not two but three times! This was a surprise to everyone in the room because there hadn’t been any decelerations in her heart rate at any point in labor. Our midwife handled the surprise like a boss and as Marigold’s body was coming out she spun her around to start unwrapping the cord. Once it was all unwrapped they gave her a few puffs of air and rubbed her down and she was crying out in no time! It could have been a scary few seconds but everyone around us handled it so calmly I don’t remember feeling scared or nervous at that time – I am so so thankful for our care team! Before I knew it she was being placed on my chest and Henri and I got an hour all alone with her to snuggle and soak in the “golden hour” of time with her.

After Marigold got her newborn exam and I got showered we were cleared to go home so we loaded up the car and brought Marigold home to meet big sister!

All in all, Marigold’s birth was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life. There were many times that I looked at Henri and said “I can’t do this!” and it sure felt like that was true too. But that moment that I saw her for the first time and she was placed on my chest made it all worth it!